


A State Of Mind

by InspirationalStars



Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cami has a new attitude with life, Depression, F/M, Pining, Vampire Camille
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-06 21:10:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5430878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InspirationalStars/pseuds/InspirationalStars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She wakes with a thirst so deep it makes her veins ache.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She doesn't wake up with a smile and cheer for the holidays like she would have in years past. She wakes in a cold sweat and a rapid beating heart inside of the Mikaelson's spare room. It's decorated in holiday cheer. White lights decorated the door frame to the balcony. Holiday stockings nailed to the wall. A miniature tree standing tall in the far corner with decorations of bells and ribbons. And not to mention the the colors of her holiday theme bedspread.

But the cheerful room does nothing to stop the frantic beating of her heart. Or the paranoid looks she gives around her temporary room. Or the anxiety that rushes into her system. She feels lost and scared, the nightmares of Luicen and Aurora taking their toll on her body. She doesn't registered the room right away. She remembers knives thrown at her face.The feel of Aurora's teeth in the side of her neck. The panic of having to fight transitional vampires by herself with a broken broomstick. The shaking of her hands after she had to stake one with the broomstick.  
She usually pushes the weeks event into the back of her mind with one positive thought to move forward on. Along with a beer or wine glass to take the edge off. Since her stay at Mikaelson's she’s in no short supply of alcohol. But it's much too early to drink. She pulls herself together with deep breathes and a remembrance of who she is and whats shes doing.

She starts with her name. Where's she’s at is next and a positive thought follows. She makes it out of bed on shaky legs when she has calmed down enough. She walks towards the en suite bathroom to start on her morning routine.

When she is finish she makes her way to the courtyard. She stops at the balcony of the staircase to see the designers decorating the courtyard. They decorate in lavish color theme items and a tree so big, she sure it's made in a lab somewhere. She takes a deep breathe before the heels of her boots hit the stone stairs.

It's the holidays she reminds herself. Her second without Kieran. Her third without Sean. She spending it with the Mikaelsons. A temperamental vampire family whose traditions surprisingly aren't all that different from hers. Minus the blood drinking and the occasional screaming match they remind her of her family. Except there seems to be an actual love aura around them. Unlike when the O’Connells use to celebrate the holidays.

It's a lot to take in from last year. Her brother and Uncle are gone. She doesn't talk to either of her parents. She's been alone in this city since the death of her uncle. Well she can't exactly say that. Not with Klaus being in her life. He's been there for her more times than she can count on her fingers. 

She takes a seat in front of the sparking tree, to admire it and to stay out of her mind. She distracts herself with pretty things such as the bright tree and the holiday theme items. And food, like croissants with strawberries on the side and orange juice for breakfast.

When the maid takes away her plate, her eyes fall to the pretty woman standing in front of her. The woman squeezes her bloody hand into a glass cup with a smile. She watches the woman for moments before her curiosity gets the better of her.

"So do they like pay you?"  
\--  
She should have called, Klaus was right about that. But from what Vincent told her he wouldn't have answered. She thanks her lucky stars that she showed up when she did. Because if she hadn't, if Klaus hasn't showed up when he did. Cami was sure she would be attending Detective Kinney's funeral soon. If it hadn't been for Klaus's wiliness to help the Detective, his brains would have been on the walls. She tries not to have that visual in mind as she pulls on her coat. She leaves Will in his bedroom. He's packing and she figured he could use some alone time. She meets Klaus in the hallway separating the living room from the kitchen.

"Klaus, what you did for-"

"-It was nothing."

Her hands besiege around his face faster than she realizes. The words are out of her mouth before she can comprehend them, but she doesn't take them back. Because he needs to know. He needs to know that what he just did-saving the detective- should not be push under the rug. He needs to know how proud of him she is.

"It was NOT nothing." She declares, eyes bright and full of joy. She stares into his eyes, hoping he understands what did for Will and how much it meant to her that he did it. 

If it hadn't been for the phone call, she was seventy five percent sure, she was going to kiss him. To show how appreciative she was of him. And maybe it had been the best thing. Because Cami was sure once she started she wasn't going to want to stop. And making out inside of home of a man who just tried to kill himself, probably wasn't the best thing.  
He takes the call outside. All she hears is the sound of his oldest brother name, before the front door closes. She stands in that spot for moment, trying to calm down her racing heart, before she goes to catch up on Will. She tries to help him pack, but she doesn't get far, before Klaus storms back into the house. He says they have to leave and before she can ask what happen he turns and walks away. She follows after him, tying the knot into the coat. He tells her of what happen to Rebekah and how Luicen has the cure to stop the curse.

She tries to stay, just to make sure Will would be alright. Just to make sure Klaus's compulsion did work. But he would not hear of it. He says he can't worry about her and try to save his sisters at the same time. A feeling of mirth runs through her system, before she nods in understanding and they are off. 

She doesn't take a step inside of Luicen's loft. Too many fresh memories of a torture Will flashing in her mind. She stands outside of the door, with the door open, more for Klaus then her. She doesn’t need to see inside, her memories tell of that loft vividly.  
It doesn't take long to get what they came for. Luicen hands Klaus the cure in a black square box at the door. And gives Cami a wave of goodbye and winks when Klaus's back turned. She tries to keep the bile in her throat and her emotions in check as she rides the elevator down. 

She sticks close to Klaus on the ride down. She loathes enclosed spaces now.  
\--

When they get to the compound, Rebekah is attacking Hayley. Klaus grabs her arm and pulls it out of Hayley's body before Rebekah can pull out Hayley's heart.  
Rebekah makes a jab at Cami, but thanks to her quick enough speed or Klaus's strength she doesn't land one on her. But she does talk about Klaus putting her inside of a glass case. She hands Hayley the black box and tells her to get it to Freya, before she escapes somewhere safe.

It's later in the evening, the screaming has stop and the family can finally enjoy the holidays. Cami wears a purple dress that has thin straps and stops just above her knees. She has a cropped cardigan that matches the dress on her shoulders. Open toed boots adore her feet and she's styled her hair in a formal updo. She has on light makeup but when Klaus first sees her, he makes her skin hot and he hasn't opened up his mouth to say a word.

During the night, the Mikaelsons teaches their guest of their traditions. And ones that they have made up and the universe decide to copy and make it their own. They eat dinner together and sit around the bonfire and tells stories of their travels.

It's after Rebekah has said her goodbyes and he Klaus has put Hope to sleep, does he come and find her. She's not exactly waiting for him as she is admiring the compound. But she welcomes his company all the same. In fact, she can't remember when she hasn't welcomed his company. Even when she was mad at him and he was stealing time away from her. A piece of her always welcomed him. She finds it strange how that works.

They tease each other for a moment. He wants to know her thoughts, and although she had a lot of things running through her mind. He had been the most recent. She tells him that and his reaction almost makes her smirk. He seems surprised, but she’s not sure why.  
She asks him if Rebekah was right. If he saw her as some fragile thing that couldn't protect herself. She asks why he help the detective today when he doesn't mean a thing to him.

His response makes her pulse beat fast. And she’s sure he can hear it loud and clear. But she can't bring herself to care. She can only just bring herself to ask him a question.

"What do you wish?" Her voice just above a whisper.

But he hears her and he grants her one of her wishes. A wish she’s been having for quite sometime. A wish she didn't want to admit to herself that she wanted. But now that she has gotten that wish. She can't imagine why she hadn't wished harder for it.

His kiss tastes of longing, wonder, and all her favorite things in one. She can't help but moan when she adjusts their positions. Her hands frame around his face, before they land on his shoulder. His hands land on her waist, turning her body into his more as they sway into their kiss. 

It breaks with a smile, a chuckle and her leading him by the hand to the nearest bedroom.  
\--  
Her pulse races when he closes the door and it's just the two of them. His eyes on her as she lowers herself towards the bed. His hand still lingering in space where her face was moments ago. Her legs raises up to glide against the leather of his pants. 

She scoots back on the bed, eyes never breaking from his hungry stare, as he climbs between her legs. The skirt of her dress raises up as his hands slide against the smoothness of her thighs. Her hands come around his neck, fingers grabbing onto the curls in his hair when their mouths connect. 

He peels her cropped cardigan off when she's sitting between his legs sometime later. His fingers trace the skin that was cover, slow and sensuous. As if he's trying to commit the feeling of her skin to memory. She is sure he can feel the goosebumps his touch leaves on her skin. She can't help but stare at him while he does it. An intense emotion of love mix in with lust and wonderment of how she got here. How she got to be here with him and be this damn happy sets in. She hasn't thought so much joy could return to her life after the death of her family. 

But she had been wrong. She had been so wrong. 

Cami had never been so happy to be so wrong.

They fall asleep in each other arms, with warm smiles and sparkling eyes. 

She wakes sometime later with a thought inside of her head. A mantra of: 

When you are at your happiness with him, I want you to take this blade and cut your throat. Don't make a sound, dear sweet Cami. I want Nik to remember this.

Confusion takes over her features, but she can not stop herself from doing this. She finds the blade that she has hidden and proceeds to cut her throat. Not making a sound like the instructions say.

She doesn't remember much after that, only the look of peace on Klaus’s sleeping form. She keeps her eyes on him until her eyes are too heavy to keep open.  
\--  
She wakes with a thirst so deep it makes her veins ache. 

Flashing memories of a heinous red haired woman with a bitter smile rushes to the forefront of her mind.

"When you are at your happiness with him. I want you to take this blade and cut your throat. Oh don't look at me like that Cami. You should be thanking me, you useless woman. Now you and Nik can be together forever. Isn't that what you want? To be together forever?"

She remembers picking up the blade and cutting her own throat. She remembers seeing Klaus's sleeping form before the last of her breath left her. And then darkness washed over her. 

She moves her hands towards her neck, expecting a deep cut across her neck or blood on her fingers. But she doesn't find the cut and confusion comes over her features. 

She can't tell if there is blood on her fingers, it's to dark to see anything. She rubs her thumb and fore finger together, but she doesn't feel anything on her fingertips. She doesn't understand.

She not only remembers picking up the blade and slicing her neck. But she remembers the pain-the physical and the emotional - she felt.

She was without a doubt dead. And yet, here she was forming these thoughts and expressing these emotions.

She lies there for a moment and breathes. Her thoughts reconnecting with one another. She knows how shes gotten here. Klaus had warned her on many occasions about the demons that haunt him. The demons that take away everything he finds beautiful in this world. She remembers them staying away from each other as long as they could before they found their way back.

Aurora had been the new demon that entered their lives. And she had been the demon that had ended her life.

She's not scared, although she should be. She should be fucking terrified. But she saw this coming, everyone saw this coming, so she has no reason to be surprise. She just wonders what took so long. 

She's just pissed beyond all reason. All she had done was love a man. Love a man more than she has loved anyone else before. And this is where it has got her. Inside a dark box as a transitional vampire whose thirst is taking away more and more of her free will to think. 

She never wanted to become a vampire. She thought about what it would be like maybe once or twice. But becoming one was never something Cami wanted to check off her bucket list. She was fine with being the human token inside of a supernatural world. 

Hell she preferred it, then this sickening hunger of another human's blood. 

She would have with great pleasure liked to stay inside of her dark box. She would have given anything to miss the opportunity to not complete the transition. To not have to drink blood for the rest of her life. To not have outlive her friends.

Yet, the demon with a face of an angel smashed her vampire suicide to shambles when she open up Cami's box.

She stands over her now, with a smirk and eyes dancing in merriment. 

"Hello, sweet Cami. Sleep well?" she asks, although she is not looking for an answer. And Cami doesn't give her one.

"Oh, not a morning person eh? Well that's alright. I got you something to cheer you up." She continues on, before disappearing from Cami sight for a moment.

She returns shortly after with an innocent smirk that soon turns mischievous.

"Hungry?" She asks as she places the neck of Davina close to Cami's mouth.

Her veins burn.


	2. Chapter 2

She hates feeling like this.

Out of control.

As if she stepped on a roundabout and the person that pushed her hasn't stopped. 

Won't stop as if the thought of letting her off never came to their mind. No matter how loud she screams, that she has had enough. That she can't continue on like this. That she was not made for a life like this.

The pushing doesn't stop. The spinning doesn't stop no matter how hard she squeezes her eyes shut. Or grip the bars until her knuckles turn pale. No matter how hard she grinds her teeth or bites her tongue until she tastes the faintest taste of her own blood.

It doesn't stop. And she knows without a doubt that the spinning is only going to get faster.

**...**

She's been undead for a week now. 

Or at least she think it’s been a week. Aurora doesn't let her of her box shaped apartment for her to explore. The windows are shut with thick metal shades for curtains. She can’t tell if day has turned into night. Or where she could possibly be. Most of her is glad for this. 

That Aurora isn't parading her around and shoving her vampirism in Klaus's face. That she can hide her new being as long as Aurora has allowed her too.  

She can't physically see the sun rise but she can hear the sound of a roosters crow. Can hear the sounds of the wolves howl. She can feel the temperature drop or rise if she  _ really _ focuses on it. 

That's one thing, Cami has gotten use to, the heightened senses. The enhance eyesight, the enlarge sense of smell, the bat like hearing.  The sensitive touch against the pads of her fingertips. The widen sense of taste. 

All five senses she's uses when she talks to Davina. 

Aurora keeps Davina as leverage, over Marcel and the others. Or at least that what she said, when Cami refuses to take a bite out of Davina's neck. 

Cami thinks Davina is here to be use as a stepping stone. A stepping stone into the monster Aurora wants her to become. She realizes this  hours after Aurora has force feed her blood from a bag. 

She remembers the burn in her veins as Aurora stood over her swinging the bag back and forth. Drops of blood hitting Cami in the face, from Aurora poking a hole into it. She had  a wicked smile as she talk about how vampirism was the best thing for her, to start over new become better. She talked about giving into dark desires. Like stabbing someone with a shard from a beer bottle until their guts spilled out.

About how she had done that once back in the 50s and what a enthralling time she had. She tells her this while blood from the bag spills against her cheek, the bridge of her nose, her chapped lips.

Each drop making Cami's resolve disappear inch by inch.

It wasn't until her third story about dicing and slicing that Cami realize she had grabbed the blood bag. And was actively sucking it dry. It was the vengeful smirk on Aurora's lips that give her away. Cami realized that smirk wasn't meant for joy she got retelling the story. But of Cami's submission. 

When she realized what she had done, she toss away the now empty bag as if it had betrayed her. Opened her mouth as if she wanted to explain herself, but Aurora closes the top of the coffin before she could.

She had felt like screaming, at herself, at Aurora, at anybody who had ears. She felt like scolding herself as if she was a child and she knew better. She had when she was mortal. To resist temptation from the devil. Her uncle preached about the evil doings that this world had to offer. And like a child with a sweet tooth she took the tainted candy. 

She would like to blame her taking the candy so easily on the fact she was now a monster. A monster that feed on the blood of others. But she knows that's not true. She knows that long before she met Aurora or Klaus that she had put the candy into her mouth and sucked hard.

It was the screaming of a tortured Davina that retrieved Cami out of her mindset. Cami opened the top of the coffin and was running towards the sound before she knew it. 

That's how she found out what Davina was actually here for.

She had stopped in her tracks, at the sight of Davina. Sitting inside of a glass box. Neck exposed and bleeding. Hands cuffed by the hand cuffed they  used on Vincent once. When they had been trying to trap Finn. Cami remembers what the handcuffs did. They took away a witch's power to do magic.

She remembers how helpless Finn had seemed in that moment. But it was nothing compared to how Davina looked. Paler than normal, breathing heavy, and sweat glistening on her forehead.

Cami had ran as fast as she could to the girl, only to hit an invisible force shield that knocked her back a couple feet. She had tried again and again, each time the force shield knocking her back even farther. 

Davina had told her it was no use and for her to stop trying. Aurora told her the same thing when she arrived seconds later. Dressed in formal black gown and ankle boots. She wore makeup to highlight her features, like lipstick painted red on her thin lipped mouth. And eyeliner to enhance the nefarious look in her blue eyes.

She had told them she was going out to celebrate Cami's death and she'd be back. 

That night, Cami tried to escape, but didn't even make past the front door before she was ambush. There were four vampires guarding the front door and the back. She had tried fighting her way out. But as a vampire who was literally born hours ago, she didn't stand a chance against them. 

With the door block and the windows metal shut, the only exits Cami could see, she took to scheming up a way to get out. Or convince Aurora to let her go. That Aurora had proved her point and that she had taken everything from Klaus. That Klaus would now see clear about the darkness that was Cami, she had turned her into one of them. A monster who needs to feed off of blood to survive, how worse would she become.

She had prepared an entire speech, one that would take away Cami's dignity for the moment. But it would have been all worth it if she could go and get help for Davina.

But Cami has heard at least four wolves howls and five rooster crows since then and there wasn't a sign of Aurora.

And Davina was looking weaker by the second. Cami can tell not just from the physical appearance, but from the sound of Davina's pulse. Cami been listening to it sometimes on purpose others time not.  She can't exactly help herself. She hasn't eaten anything since that one blood bag Aurora gave to her days ago. 

She's starved.

And the sound of Davina's pulse isn't helping her crave cease. 

She sometimes catches herself looking at the dried up blood on Davina's neck. At the pulse point beating under the teenage girl's pasty skin while she sleeps. 

She hates herself for the thoughts she has when she looks at it. 

Instead of focusing on the dried up blood or the pulse she decides to talk to her.  Plan a way to get out of here, with no daylight ring or enough vampire strength to over take four armed guards. They talk and talk until Cami hears another wolf howl.

But it doesn't stop her from listening to the faint pulse in Davina's neck. Or how she can’t wait to to sink her fangs into it.

**...**

When Aurora does return, Davina is barely breathing and Cami isn't too far behind her. She's dressed in a different outfit from the last time Cami seen her. With shopping bags and a glow to her pale skin.

She looks more alive then she actually is, more alive then Cami feels.

"I'm home darlings. Did you me miss?" She asks, smiling at Cami and Davina, who frown in response. 

"What's with the pouty faces? You keep frowning at me and I won't give you the presents I brought?" She sangs, holding the shopping bags in her hand. One hand extended towards Cami and the other towards Davina.

She smiles at them both, a smile that causes Cami stomach to turn. 

Aurora nods towards two vampire bodyguards, who walks over to Davina's glass cage. They walk in and pull her out without the force field knocking them back. Like it had with Cami.

The bodyguards drag a weaken and defenseless Davina towards them.

Aurora smiles at them as if they committed the best sin there was.

"But first, dear sweet innocent Cami." She mocks, dropping the shopping bags onto a nearby sofa. "I need you to do something for me." She adds, circling around Davina like a hawk before it attacks it's prey. 

Cami raises her chin, readying herself for whatever torture Aurora was going to throw her way. 

Aurora presses a manicure finger into the bleeding wound in Davina's neck. Davina hisses out in pain, as Aurora eyes turn black. It takes everything in Cami not to rush towards the girl and tear her away from Aurora.

"I need you to sit there." She instructs, eyes set on Cami and finger still lodge into Davina's neck, she nods to the sofa, waiting. Cami takes a sit, eyes still trained on the pain stricken face of Davina. 

"You're going to sit there, and Davina is going to sit here." She says pushing Davina down onto the sofa next to Cami. 

Aurora stands over Cami, smiling. The same smile that makes Cami stomach turn. Aurora takes the finger that was press into Davina's wound moments ago and waves it in front of Cami's face.

Cami's eyes follow the sight of blood, before she registers she's doing it. Her mouth opens in the slightest and Aurora's smiles like Cheshire cat.

"You ever taste witches blood?" She asks, still waving her finger back and forth, not looking for an answer. "It's the most divine thing." She whispers, like it's a cherished secret.

Cami watches as Aurora brings her bloody finger to her mouth and licks her fingers. She hums like the blood is the tastiest dessert she's ever had and Cami can feel her veins burn.

"Let's play a game, shall we? If you can guess Davina's blood type, I won't have one of my bodyguards kill her and put her out of her misery."

"Why are you doing this?" Cami asks. "You've already turned me into a monster. You've gotten your revenge on Klaus. Let Davina go she has nothing to do with this." Cami pleas.

"Is that your final answer?" She asks.

Cami sighs in response, "AB negative."She guesses.

Aurora stays silent for a moment before she sighs, "Oh, so close! but it's positive. You lose. Go ahead and kill her." Aurora orders.

"Wait! Wait! Don't! Give me another question!" Cami peas, quickly standing up from the sofa and standing in front of Davina.

"Oh, but the game is over Cami. Take your lost like a vampire." Aurora scolds.

"Please!" She begs as the bodyguards creep closer to the defenseless witch.

Aurora rolls her eyes, "There is one thing you can do that will save the young witches life." She tell her, walking over to the shopping bag and grabbing something out of it.

Aurora throws the item towards Cami, and she catches it easily. 

"Put this on and don't make me wait long." She orders and Cami rushes to the bathroom and back in record time.

"Good, now this." She hands Cami a black leather jacket. "Alright let's go."

"Where are we going?" Cami asks as pulls her hair from underneath her jacket and adjusts it around her frame.

"Out." 

**...**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
